Mortal Recoil

There is no passing through this
There is no passing through this
there is a seven year old night waiting
while the odds come and stay
as drain seeps out the lava
and bang my doors like a day
a day that is done to death
throbbing in the middle of my palm
I have been caught staring at it
out, out, out are all the lights
out all, in some rain sucking green ground
i don't know the sound
but it flaps its wings through the invisible woe
crawling shapes in my scenic solitude
through solid ebony
above serpents of colored fires
fruit trees yes fruit trees
no flies and no original slaves
i can only afford those stamps now
i write to you, hence
three hours later from where I am
blow the brief candles
its an end to a lot of pain
its an end to a lot more. 

Fly on the wall

I blink quite often, the day just ends
And the nights rarely begin
The end is somewhere in the beginning
And I know it lies somewhere far ahead
It lies repeatedly and that’s the truth
Maybe I should stop paying my shrink so much

I push open the door quite often

And step out

Tripping on the trash bin outside someone’s door

Twice at a time.

Maybe I should stop the day from dawning on me

On the unmade bed

No pillow just covers

And the undead

chair by the window of honesty

that led

the pane inside the joyful noise

I see you sit there and smoke travels by your earlobe

And you can’t make a difference

between words and nicotine

And I can’t make a difference anyway

I have told you and some more

So many things

So many things

that I probably ruptured myself

and now I miss everyone.

I linger now

amongst the delicious fools,

who run behind marking tags on my words

for there is no language about me

I wouldn’t have known even if there was

Sometimes I talk of shutter speeds

Ecstasy and sometimes wine

I have never been strong

I live with hard traveling

and bad fun

I wear four tattoos

And I sleep with everyone.

I shoot myself quite often

Not like an arrow but a boomerang

I don’t look back at things and wonder

All of this is happening right now

My fingers are asleep and nails, a colour of light black

Even my phone wants me to be sensitive

And the internet wants to verify if I am human

I become aware quite often

Of the nodes in time

in the blackness of my visibility

the words I don’t find synonyms for

something or the other

Of the harmonica in my bag

Of a mouth that hasn’t played it for too long

May be a small rug by the edge

May be a mirror in the water

a dandy opportunity to eavesdrop

on the emptying clay bourbon cup 

some walking backwards

time halt for salt

life just trapped in your tongue

like a word of love seldom spoken

something to warm my shoes

and a hole in the ground.

I am produced

To site a few times that the sky
has refused to turn bluer than I am, its difficult to proceed this way.
For these are those few times
when the pavements
have buried jingles of poverty
and soon today I am to walk them
and then again on crossroads
I haven't seen you for too long
and you know
these pavements have buried our footsteps
along dark morning walks
and the secret glances
with few memories and fewer sounds
that came out
fainter,outstripping and tied
from my window that lived in that wall.

Pain killer

Hell-oh! everybody
Gaaah you are here!
To the poor! Big and small
since there is a lack of funds
we present to you
Death by a hairball
All fucking good is leaving my soul
pain giving birth to painful creations
broken filling, mental drilling
Oh curse the bane, of survival pain
I'd be killing, if you are willing
to cease refrain of molar's pain
lemme drown you
lemme drown you
lemme drown you in purple rain
damn you motherfucker purple pain!
I took the pill, and downed with swill
pain's vacation, pure elation
pain is like a child you said
one day will grow up and do something for you
to feed, till the last drop I'd milk out my chest
and then it will grow up and stare at my breast
Ah! Lovely!
We must be aware
Of the Culture Of Murder
It’s been building for years
we must know the facts
you right there are an ass
In an empty office a lone monitor stands
I'd work on the key board with scissorhands
cut! cut! cut! cut!
copy you sloppy!
knives out
catch the rot
grind his head
put it in the pot
shove it in your mouth
I only want to see you
see you drown
Oh yeah, drown
You purple pain
In the purple motherfucking rain!

Please, I can't find my knees

An itch

woke me up last night

from nothing but a nightmare

to throw me into another one

That itch

ran all over my body

and inside

like a girl without her legs

running into an open field of

of a few more dreams

her dreams

That itch

grew upon me

inside me

light flickers in the opposite room

the ghosts of electricity howling in the lines on her face

like blood let loose

from the chains

from closed chambers

from dried veins

That itch

I dnt know why it came

like a head rush

bragged of its misery

That itch

woke me, shook me

stretched me

wretched me like a calling

this is what salvation will be after a while

That itch

scaled me for forgetting you

muttering small talk to the wall

while I sat on a rug in the hall

haunted me

broke me

crushed me that night

and every time I played a skeleton key

That itch

spoke of a farewell kiss

That itch

that made me , itch...

Dead Loaf

Ah! There she goes
to buy her gold
around the turn
and back and then
again and then again
without a pause
for breath, she ran
to rising noise
its her pills and her frills
of all thoughts mistaken
mirror reflection
but her makes no wonder
cut no slack
on every tack
sped up and back
and spun four times around
the posts and down
again.
No feeling does she feel
she is running on naked heels
running on drenched concrete
with springy poise,
the men behind
like panting boys
a side stitch
like a car alarm
the ice falls out of her glass
whispering in the dead piper's ear
running to a place not so near
silent bare
ships
towers
domes
theatres
temples
and then her speaking falls
drops of life
hemmed to her skirt
all ironed and dyed
she took a turn
where blacks are beaten
smiled a smile
as shallow as time

Love when u can't

Hey lover
Come share this wine
Leave your shoes at the window
Remember what my door knob says


Smile again with another swig
We dance on the rainbow
The leaves, the branches the prayer of the twig
Remember what my door knob says

Pinned on the pouring weather
Is a picture of you and me
Drowsy and tangled together
Remember what my door knob says

Newly come from the river
With colours in your eyes of distant life
The impalpable ash on the wrinkled log
Remember what my door knob says

aromas, light, metals, were little boats
when u decide to leave me in the rain
everything carries me to you
when you decide to reach my lips again
just
remember what my door knob says

Wishlist

With death so near, he must have felt like someone on the brink of freedom, resdy to start all over again.

An alien at home behind the sun
Half forgotten or malobserved
Floated up from my memory
Visualizing every piece of furniture
A tiny dent
An incrustation
A chipped edge
The exact grain
Color of the woodwork

No one, no one had the right to weep for him
Remained to hope was that one day of my execution
There would be a huge crowd of spectators
They will greet me with howls of execration

Not for my departure but theirs’
To the start on a voyage to world which had ceased to concern me forever.

Slither wall ticks

Fierce and forgiven

falls the shadow of the wall on me

I flick a match light to get rid of me

stubborn it seems

so i rather light the last cigarette i see.

Several walls i have been through

several went through me

dreams of concrete

sequels of bricks

painted over and over again

red, white

blue, pale yellow

hiding the plight of being so old

Higher than before

wider than ever

thicker than my veins

sharper than the knife

i cnt cut through them

so i let them cut through me

Infra red roses

ultra violent blue

disparity climbs from the floor to the wall

from one to another

on every wall

i am living through them all

It comes full circle

when the walls open in a window

the light travels through but not out

looks back at me

flickers and shrinks

to squeeze through the pane

vanishes outside

drenched in the rain

I reach for the window

and the raindrops sqaw

I smile my first smile

I flick a match light

I smoked many last cigarettes i saw...

Cut

Sinking.. sinking.. sinking

With every blink

I loose

a frame of this illussion

With every blink

I scan

through fluid images

With every blink

I freeze

and hope this life would too

With every blink

I sneeze

and someone says god bless you

With every blink

I depart

and wonder what did I start

Constantly questioning

time travel

ground and gravel

my feet have lost their sole

and left a sinking smiling hole

With every blink

I stop

I drop

the picture crops

and i m drained with a flush

a rush 

down to the bottom of my sink

I open my eyes

and well what do i dread

nothing to announce but

that addled delusion

down there in the sink

once again I blink...

Peep-le

And it's not just breaking out anymore
It's just breaking
I met nudity and promiscuity the other day
and they couldn't say much
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show..

With bodies dressed like that
calling attention from all
watching not watching
denying the ability to not see
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show..

I never thought they were two different people
and they weren't
they were the thing we fear
they were what we could never be
in all sophisticated cups and saucers
sucking on smoke pipes from a mile away
they could not touch those 'classy' lips
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show..

They laughed and drank the evening in
their painted nails filled with muddy streets
they don't look around
and they still can see me
petite, ironed, dyed
the last thing they wanted to be
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show
of state of insecurity,
of fear,
and of promiscuous misery

It ain't easy

Don't return to feel too blue when the rainbow's secrets are over.. You will see the games where the winner never wins.. And I don't feel anything sometimes... But a chill down my spine, a hair raising rush on my wet arms, a drunken dime down the light... Darker,emptier and simpler... The blankness with which my eyes shrink.. music is what feeling sounds like.. when I air guitar on the road.. and it sounds just right.. to me.. And then I feel right too... But when I close the open hand because one loves.. and I don't feel anything I can only reciprocate.. Out of damp and gloomy days, out of solitude, out of loveless words directed at me, conclusions grow up in me like fungus: one morning they are there, I know not how, and they gaze upon me, morose and gray... And then I feel .. I feel I am tired and I am attacked by ideas that I conquered long ago.. And I walk.. then can I think I feel.. And in a casual stroll through the lunatic asylum I felt that faith does not prove anything.. and now I don't feel anything..

Are you such a dreamer
to set the world right
I will always stay in the room
where two plus two make five

My you

I've waited too long to have you,
Hide in the back of me,
I've cheated so long I wonder,
How you keep track of me,

You can never be strong,
You can only be free,

And I've never asked for the truth,
but you owe that to me,

I've entered a game of pricks,
With knives in the back of me,
Can't call you or on you've known,
A while they're attacking me,
I'll climb up on the house,
Weep to water the trees,
And when you come calling me down,
I'll put on my disease

You can never be strong,
You can only be free,

And I've never asked for the truth,
but you owe that to me,
I've never asked for the truth,
But you owe that to me,
I've never asked for the truth,
But you owe that to me ..

Herstory

Check what you are saying?
Watch what you will mean today?
Don’t let ‘em look at you
Listen to what they say
Listen to what they say
Listen to what they say
Don’t think about it!
Why can’t you go out shopping with your girls?
Watch TV like everyone else?
Get a job and girl stop dreaming
Give up all their books, they are crazy!
Why do you need them anyway
God! I can’t believe she is smoking!
We don’t deserve to have a daughter like this!
How will we get you marrie doff?
Did you hear that? She wants to move out!
It’s all you fault, you’ve spoilt her
Didn’t I tell you to sent her to a boarding school?

I am switching..
Off!!