Thursday, January 27, 2011

Statesboro



The kids start to fall off the balconies
where the clothes are hung by their neck, shoulders, wrists.
To dry.
washed off the dirt, smoke, sweat and the street food
the kids are stealing
deaths appealing to both eyes and fears
the clothes hung dry honey
make sure the kids don't fly honey.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fly on the wall




I blink quite often, the day just ends
And the nights rarely begin
The end is somewhere in the beginning
And I know it lies somewhere far ahead
It lies repeatedly and that’s the truth
Maybe I should stop paying my shrink so much



I push open the door quite often
And step out
Tripping on the trash bin outside someone’s door
Twice at a time.
Maybe I should stop the day from dawning on me
On the unmade bed
No pillow just covers
And the undead
chair by the window of honesty
that led
the pane inside the joyful noise
I see you sit there and smoke travels by your earlobe
And you can’t make a difference
between words and nicotine
And I can’t make a difference anyway

I have told you and some more
So many things
So many things
that I probably ruptured myself
and now I miss everyone.

I linger now
amongst the delicious fools,
who run behind marking tags on my words
for there is no language about me
I wouldn’t have known even if there was
Sometimes I talk of shutter speeds
Ecstasy and sometimes wine
I have never been strong
I live with hard traveling
and bad fun
I wear four tattoos
And I sleep with everyone.

I shoot myself quite often
Not like an arrow but a boomerang
I don’t look back at things and wonder
All of this is happening right now
My fingers are asleep and nails, a colour of light black
Even my phone wants me to be sensitive
And the internet wants to verify if I am human

I become aware quite often
Of the nodes in time
in the blackness of my visibility
the words I don’t find synonyms for
something or the other
Of the harmonica in my bag
Of a mouth that hasn’t played it for too long

May be a small rug by the edge
May be a mirror in the water
a dandy opportunity to eavesdrop
on the emptying clay bourbon cup 
some walking backwards
time halt for salt
life just trapped in your tongue
like a word of love seldom spoken
something to warm my shoes
and a hole in the ground.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I am produced

To site a few times that the sky
has refused to turn bluer than I am, its difficult to proceed this way.
For these are those few times
when the pavements
have buried jingles of poverty
and soon today I am to walk them
and then again on crossroads
I haven't seen you for too long
and you know
these pavements have buried our footsteps
along dark morning walks
and the secret glances
with few memories and fewer sounds
that came out
fainter,outstripping and tied
from my window that lived in that wall.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

...

Tonight we lie
for tonight is too lovely a night to die
and tonight I can forgive you again
Some words fight
some cry
some just laugh like a watermelon
licking the drooling alphabets
I don't seem to write something new
language has grown quite old
everyday they say
starts a brand new day
and everyday a brand new day dies
listen! for there is no other day
listen for tomorrow is gone
listen for you will have to follow me when I run
for I will run every time the day is done
I have a ship hidden in the forest
it has tattoos disclosing my mime
it has fortune sleeping on it
the moon shines on it all the time
and there is nothing romantic about it
from the creepers
to the branches
and weeping flowers
we shall climb on to it and fly
no need to come closer
no need to find comfort
no need to be wanting a tie
tonight I can forgive you again

for tonight is too lovely a night to die
tonight we just lie

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Unsaved

An absurd dream last night
waking up to Camus next to my bed to tell me that
knowing that this obnoxiously determined absent soul
doesn't strive to but will live
walls are filled up to the brim, the roof
illustrations and breath of a missing human life
a brilliantly ridiculous beginning
a flow of solid massive things
time moving in two and fro
so! I am now between yes and no
the empty smell of him billowing in my balcony
I have a shirt of his
I wash it evry day
and I put it to dry in the public
I wonder if the neighbours realise
he doesn't live here anymore.
Dishevelled, falling pieces of puzzle
tremendously bored and marvellous
as the day moved on, closed in
fornicated and read the papers.
Am I asking for too much?
I dnt even remember asking anything.
My short story book by Kafka is missing
Is it with you?
Who is it with?
Who is with me?
Trying to watch a black out on a colour TV
Clearer vision I demand
should I get a set top box?
big brother is watching all of us
does the big brother have an equally big sister?
And what does she do?
Sit behind a curtain in the church and hear confessions?
Or enter a brothel by mistake?
Does she get it everynight from a stark revolutionary man?
Is it a wide open radical thought process?
Children, mothers, preganent men
Red light, green light, make up your mind!
This is not original
its just usual
an integral part of my grown up life
like owning a car or falling in love
or wanting to live in images and not arguments.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Pain killer

Hell-oh! everybody
Gaaah you are here!
To the poor! Big and small
since there is a lack of funds
we present to you
Death by a hairball
All fucking good is leaving my soul
pain giving birth to painful creations
broken filling, mental drilling
Oh curse the bane, of survival pain
I'd be killing, if you are willing
to cease refrain of molar's pain
lemme drown you
lemme drown you
lemme drown you in purple rain
damn you motherfucker purple pain!
I took the pill, and downed with swill
pain's vacation, pure elation
pain is like a child you said
one day will grow up and do something for you
to feed, till the last drop I'd milk out my chest
and then it will grow up and stare at my breast
Ah! Lovely!
We must be aware
Of the Culture Of Murder
It’s been building for years
we must know the facts
you right there are an ass
In an empty office a lone monitor stands
I'd work on the key board with scissorhands
cut! cut! cut! cut!
copy you sloppy!
knives out
catch the rot
grind his head
put it in the pot
shove it in your mouth
I only want to see you
see you drown
Oh yeah, drown
You purple pain
In the purple motherfucking rain!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

You leave my eyes

Drenched in sweat I don't cry
fearing I would spoil you
to be running around the desert
so dry I would soil you
could you sit there between my eyes
run like a stream of charcoal
till the fire dies
and burns the hole in my soul
you are my special religion
you are my blind faith
is it important to talk to you?
black are grapes
black are the drums
black is the new green
and the bruise on my thumb
There will be no smell
no discoloration
and then you try crawling out of my eye
and you slowly spread your fingers on my cheek
near the nose and across the lips
you flow as the waters leak
waters of the cries
and strange good byes
waters of vein loss and bloodshot hearts
waters cutting old ties
stop peeping through the eyes wide shut
why do u shift when somebody removes you?
you stop my eyes from detecting light
from all that they are supposed to do
covering the stab of my electric impulses.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Idaho

You say the gods are more use to you than fairies
all day to watch the blue wave curl and break
birds against the wind
over the river, on the hill
there are three ways in which men take
and she knows a cheap release
while i stood listening, discreetly dumb
within this lowly grave a conqueror lies
just as my fingers on these keys
I wonder where you live
will you come tonight
the door keys are under the mat
sitting in my rocker waiting for your tea
who will be naming the wind

the hypocritic days
in the autumn of my winters
green afternoon serene and bright
hazy, blur, falling and loud
if i should go, think only this of me
that I don't wanna know
they threw a stone, you threw a stone
at all little things as little as me

Friday, January 29, 2010

shoebox

There is so much missing right now
the keys to my old room, the burnt frying pan
the ash filled sheets of bed between our legs
the too small a bathroom and the smaller the door
the withered lizards through day and night
sometimes hiding sometimes out there
out here under my favorite blue bulb, red bulb
the uncovered underwears
the moist smell of never washed clothes
and those slip sliding smoke rings
those papers, newspapers, toilet papers
curling, burnt rolling papers
the fear of sitting under the roofs of skyscrapers
now are here with the words
that read themselves over written on
the notes of
groceries
house deposits
bills
time
and poetry.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Niyah!

The taste of dirt so sly
you look in the mirror and wonder why
the same seasons and thundering skies
the muck splattered on my days
You warn me
The mirth in my eyes you can see
And then you let me
Touch you
You were less than a stranger
You left in such hurry
I didn't think to wish you luck
It would be better living backwards
With a bruised memory like mine
I get surprises in the past
Even they wouldn't last
I am guessing
I don't know
I want more when I am denied

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Saving...

Live me another day
live me alone
kiss me to hear a good bye
kiss the forehead stone
I am leaving
again
I won't come back
again
I will never see you
again
I might not be you
again
Cross your legs with mine
Stretch your arm
intertwine
Sold your vanity
have you?
It costs you ten coins
I had nine
and I still have those nine
days of heavy rainfall
weeping under my collar
keep sakes
lull lakes
covered in a cold lullaby
Get me ink! Get me ink!
Not a drink lump! Ink!
Running through my spine
twisted barbwire
Stub this cigarette
smoke that dream
sleep a little closer
can u hear me
I am shouting
again
So loud
So faint
again
There is a mistletoe
and a long run
candles on my palm
a little breath left in the rain
and while you stand in front of me
I will never see you
again

Friday, December 25, 2009

Please, I can't find my knees

An itch
woke me up last night
from nothing but a nightmare
to throw me into another one
That itch
ran all over my body
and inside
like a girl without her legs
running into an open field of
of a few more dreams
her dreams
That itch
grew upon me
inside me
light flickers in the opposite room
the ghosts of electricity howling in the lines on her face
like blood let loose
from the chains
from closed chambers
from dried veins
That itch
I dnt know why it came
like a head rush
bragged of its misery
That itch
woke me, shook me
stretched me
wretched me like a calling
this is what salvation will be after a while
That itch
scaled me for forgetting you
muttering small talk to the wall
while I sat on a rug in the hall
haunted me
broke me
crushed me that night
and every time I played a skeleton key
That itch
spoke of a farewell kiss
That itch
that made me , itch...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

i can write you that love song

Mystery
mystery
we were never meant to be
then why so i love thee
well i suppose thats the mystery

Different country
U and i have always lived in different country
and i know airline tickets don't
grow on a tree
so what kept us apart is plain for me to see
that much at least is not really a mystery


Estuary
i live on a houseboat on an estuary
which is handy for my work with porn authority
but i know you wud have found it insanitary
insanitary

hated me
i'd be a fool to ignore the possibility
that if actually ever met
u might have taken advantage
and would have lied to me
but still thats not the only problem that i can see

Dead since 1993
U have been dead now for
wait a minute let me see
16 years come next january
as a human being you are history

so why do i still long for you
why is my love so strong for you
why did i write this song for you
well i guess thats just the mystery
mystery
mystery

Monday, August 31, 2009

Epitaph


I can see you clearly, so clearly.
This...you...it's all
I am having a little trouble
controlling this pencil.
It seems to want to keep going on.

Outlines seem normal, but very vivid
everything is changing color.
My hands must follow the bold sweep of the lines.
I feel as if my consciousness is situated in the part of my body that's now active --
my hand, my elbow ... my tongue.

I'm trying another drawing.
The outlines of the model are normal,
but those of my drawing are not.
The outline of my hand is going weird too.
It's not very good drawing, is it?
I give -- I'll try again...

I'll do a drawing in one flourish...
without stopping...
one line, no break!

I am... everything is.. changed.. they are calling
your face...interwoven...who is..
Thanks for the Memory

This will be the best drawing,
like the first one,
only better.
If i am not careful, I'll lose control of my movements, but i won't
because i know. I know.

I can feel your knees again
This is a pretty good drawing --
this pencil is mighty hard to hold.

Are you smoking?
I have nothing to say about this last drawing.
It is bad
uninteresting
I want to go home now...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dead Loaf

Ah! There she goes
to buy her gold
around the turn
and back and then
again and then again
without a pause
for breath, she ran
to rising noise
its her pills and her frills
of all thoughts mistaken
mirror reflection
but her makes no wonder
cut no slack
on every tack
sped up and back
and spun four times around
the posts and down
again.
No feeling does she feel
she is running on naked heels
running on drenched concrete
with springy poise,
the men behind
like panting boys
a side stitch
like a car alarm
the ice falls out of her glass
whispering in the dead piper's ear
running to a place not so near
silent bare
ships
towers
domes
theatres
temples
and then her speaking falls
drops of life
hemmed to her skirt
all ironed and dyed
she took a turn
where blacks are beaten
smiled a smile
as shallow as time

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Asulon II

When i reached out for that another cigarette i saw ur hand their too with a wound of what I recall the first time u burnt your hand trying to light ur first cigarette. Yes, I have known you for that long.


And then i was in somebody else' car the other day and i saw the kilometers and i realised how many pictures we took of driving together, thousands of kilometers. Yes they were in thousands.


Furious i walked out on my work station and bumped into a wall, I hit my head so hard, i forgot for a second where i was. That second grew into minutes, hours and now into days. And I still don't remember.


Hey i have a tattoo now.. remember how much i cribbed. Heard its raining up there... Aren't we going to throw umbrellas in the sand and run? Hey you still will lose the race..


I have cut my hair... Do u wanna see how i look? Well I am quite alone standing against the wall of your house hiding behind skinny bushes.. Remember how u got pricked the other day?


i am thirsty now.. parched for raindrops on the roof missing on my head.. will this reality remain? in little and at large.. will all my i' always be small... will i live on.. feeling this way.. feeling nothing nemore.. scratching the wall.. writing the same shit over and over again... carrying the baggage of having memories with u.. memories i dnt remember nemore... everytime i am spending another minute to try and run away... i am leaving something behind..

I don't write letters to you anymore.. I don't know your address.. I can't afford to buy those stamps now.. I am dreaming another nightmare... I am not knocking on your door.. its just a few steps away from where i am.. Hey has your hair started to grey a little.. Yes, I was your child

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Love when u can't


Hey lover
Come share this wine
Leave your shoes at the window
Remember what my door knob says


Smile again with another swig
We dance on the rainbow
The leaves, the branches the prayer of the twig
Remember what my door knob says

Pinned on the pouring weather
Is a picture of you and me
Drowsy and tangled together
Remember what my door knob says

Newly come from the river
With colours in your eyes of distant life
The impalpable ash on the wrinkled log
Remember what my door knob says

aromas, light, metals, were little boats
when u decide to leave me in the rain
everything carries me to you
when you decide to reach my lips again
just
remember what my door knob says

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Wishlist


With death so near, he must have felt like someone on the brink of freedom, resdy to start all over again.

An alien at home behind the sun
Half forgotten or malobserved
Floated up from my memory
Visualizing every piece of furniture
A tiny dent
An incrustation
A chipped edge
The exact grain
Color of the woodwork

No one, no one had the right to weep for him
Remained to hope was that one day of my execution
There would be a huge crowd of spectators
They will greet me with howls of execration

Not for my departure but theirs’
To the start on a voyage to world which had ceased to concern me forever.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The distance of a shout


Read in.. read out.. read twice over... still doesn't read right... loosening quite a bit of what i can call time.. I am lewd over.. scary rise of widening surprise, I'm seein' your world of people and things.... Seems sick an' it's hungry, it's tired an' it's torn, It looks like it's a-dyin' an' it's hardly been born.

I believe I'm fixing to die, fixing to die... Yes I am walking kinda funny... and i dnt want no money... Evry place I want to go, I never go because you know... I am fighting windy blues... I got two white horses following me ... Means another poor boy is under the ground.

I am chuckling rolling half way down the bridge... The green sombre grass tickles my spine... And I say And i say.. hey dear dew, will you be mine?

You lost a lot of it.. I did too.. Life was a waste of my energy and I was waste of its time... So we got together and wasted it all tonight... i love you evermore.. you thriving vein betwee my ribs... I am loving you each day and now i want you all the more... u stop making me feel red... u make me light another cigarette that tells i am not dead... Ha haha haha

She's streamlined and a midnight flyer... Two bit liars, small time jokers, this train don't carry no smokers... Ha haha haha.. i am standing on the rooftop of your basement.. get higher hand me that ashtray.. those clips haunted bartender... loosen up dear mother pam... church is ringing its bell the church is falling in the well... come lock me in... Come with the dust and go with the wind...

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Scene releases

In a very ruthless way... If you give me the wrong answer I will push you down the bridge.

Thank you,
thank you for this beautiful gift..
It was very generous of me...

I hope you liked it..
I need it.. Do I?
You will be prosecuted..

Saving lives around the world...
I feel safe with you.. You are leading the revolution..

Here put this on... They will kill you