Saving...

Live me another day
live me alone
kiss me to hear a good bye
kiss the forehead stone
I am leaving
again
I won't come back
again
I will never see you
again
I might not be you
again
Cross your legs with mine
Stretch your arm
intertwine
Sold your vanity
have you?
It costs you ten coins
I had nine
and I still have those nine
days of heavy rainfall
weeping under my collar
keep sakes
lull lakes
covered in a cold lullaby
Get me ink! Get me ink!
Not a drink lump! Ink!
Running through my spine
twisted barbwire
Stub this cigarette
smoke that dream
sleep a little closer
can u hear me
I am shouting
again
So loud
So faint
again
There is a mistletoe
and a long run
candles on my palm
a little breath left in the rain
and while you stand in front of me
I will never see you
again

Please, I can't find my knees

An itch

woke me up last night

from nothing but a nightmare

to throw me into another one

That itch

ran all over my body

and inside

like a girl without her legs

running into an open field of

of a few more dreams

her dreams

That itch

grew upon me

inside me

light flickers in the opposite room

the ghosts of electricity howling in the lines on her face

like blood let loose

from the chains

from closed chambers

from dried veins

That itch

I dnt know why it came

like a head rush

bragged of its misery

That itch

woke me, shook me

stretched me

wretched me like a calling

this is what salvation will be after a while

That itch

scaled me for forgetting you

muttering small talk to the wall

while I sat on a rug in the hall

haunted me

broke me

crushed me that night

and every time I played a skeleton key

That itch

spoke of a farewell kiss

That itch

that made me , itch...

i can write you that love song

Mystery

mystery

we were never meant to be

then why so i love thee

well i suppose thats the mystery

Different country

U and i have always lived in different country

and i know airline tickets don't

grow on a tree

so what kept us apart is plain for me to see

that much at least is not really a mystery

Estuary

i live on a houseboat on an estuary

which is handy for my work with porn authority

but i know you wud have found it insanitary

insanitary

hated me

i'd be a fool to ignore the possibility

that if actually ever met

u might have taken advantage

and would have lied to me

but still thats not the only problem that i can see

Dead since 1993

U have been dead now for

wait a minute let me see

16 years come next january

as a human being you are history

so why do i still long for you

why is my love so strong for you

why did i write this song for you

well i guess thats just the mystery

mystery

mystery

Epitaph

I can see you clearly, so clearly.
This...you...it's all
I am having a little trouble
controlling this pencil.
It seems to want to keep going on.

Outlines seem normal, but very vivid
everything is changing color.
My hands must follow the bold sweep of the lines.
I feel as if my consciousness is situated in the part of my body that's now active --
my hand, my elbow ... my tongue.

I'm trying another drawing.
The outlines of the model are normal,
but those of my drawing are not.
The outline of my hand is going weird too.
It's not very good drawing, is it?
I give -- I'll try again...

I'll do a drawing in one flourish...
without stopping...
one line, no break!

I am... everything is.. changed.. they are calling
your face...interwoven...who is..
Thanks for the Memory

This will be the best drawing,
like the first one,
only better.
If i am not careful, I'll lose control of my movements, but i won't
because i know. I know.

I can feel your knees again
This is a pretty good drawing --
this pencil is mighty hard to hold.

Are you smoking?
I have nothing to say about this last drawing.
It is bad
uninteresting
I want to go home now...

Dead Loaf

Ah! There she goes
to buy her gold
around the turn
and back and then
again and then again
without a pause
for breath, she ran
to rising noise
its her pills and her frills
of all thoughts mistaken
mirror reflection
but her makes no wonder
cut no slack
on every tack
sped up and back
and spun four times around
the posts and down
again.
No feeling does she feel
she is running on naked heels
running on drenched concrete
with springy poise,
the men behind
like panting boys
a side stitch
like a car alarm
the ice falls out of her glass
whispering in the dead piper's ear
running to a place not so near
silent bare
ships
towers
domes
theatres
temples
and then her speaking falls
drops of life
hemmed to her skirt
all ironed and dyed
she took a turn
where blacks are beaten
smiled a smile
as shallow as time

Asulon II

When i reached out for that another cigarette i saw ur hand their too with a wound of what I recall the first time u burnt your hand trying to light ur first cigarette. Yes, I have known you for that long.

And then i was in somebody else' car the other day and i saw the kilometers and i realised how many pictures we took of driving together, thousands of kilometers. Yes they were in thousands.

Furious i walked out on my work station and bumped into a wall, I hit my head so hard, i forgot for a second where i was. That second grew into minutes, hours and now into days. And I still don't remember.

Hey i have a tattoo now.. remember how much i cribbed. Heard its raining up there... Aren't we going to throw umbrellas in the sand and run? Hey you still will lose the race..

I have cut my hair... Do u wanna see how i look? Well I am quite alone standing against the wall of your house hiding behind skinny bushes.. Remember how u got pricked the other day?

i am thirsty now.. parched for raindrops on the roof missing on my head.. will this reality remain? in little and at large.. will all my i' always be small... will i live on.. feeling this way.. feeling nothing nemore.. scratching the wall.. writing the same shit over and over again... carrying the baggage of having memories with u.. memories i dnt remember nemore... everytime i am spending another minute to try and run away... i am leaving something behind..

I don't write letters to you anymore.. I don't know your address.. I can't afford to buy those stamps now.. I am dreaming another nightmare... I am not knocking on your door.. its just a few steps away from where i am.. Hey has your hair started to grey a little.. Yes, I was your child

Love when u can't

Hey lover
Come share this wine
Leave your shoes at the window
Remember what my door knob says


Smile again with another swig
We dance on the rainbow
The leaves, the branches the prayer of the twig
Remember what my door knob says

Pinned on the pouring weather
Is a picture of you and me
Drowsy and tangled together
Remember what my door knob says

Newly come from the river
With colours in your eyes of distant life
The impalpable ash on the wrinkled log
Remember what my door knob says

aromas, light, metals, were little boats
when u decide to leave me in the rain
everything carries me to you
when you decide to reach my lips again
just
remember what my door knob says

Wishlist

With death so near, he must have felt like someone on the brink of freedom, resdy to start all over again.

An alien at home behind the sun
Half forgotten or malobserved
Floated up from my memory
Visualizing every piece of furniture
A tiny dent
An incrustation
A chipped edge
The exact grain
Color of the woodwork

No one, no one had the right to weep for him
Remained to hope was that one day of my execution
There would be a huge crowd of spectators
They will greet me with howls of execration

Not for my departure but theirs’
To the start on a voyage to world which had ceased to concern me forever.

The distance of a shout

Read in.. read out.. read twice over... still doesn't read right... loosening quite a bit of what i can call time.. I am lewd over.. scary rise of widening surprise, I'm seein' your world of people and things.... Seems sick an' it's hungry, it's tired an' it's torn, It looks like it's a-dyin' an' it's hardly been born.

I believe I'm fixing to die, fixing to die... Yes I am walking kinda funny... and i dnt want no money... Evry place I want to go, I never go because you know... I am fighting windy blues... I got two white horses following me ... Means another poor boy is under the ground.

I am chuckling rolling half way down the bridge... The green sombre grass tickles my spine... And I say And i say.. hey dear dew, will you be mine?

You lost a lot of it.. I did too.. Life was a waste of my energy and I was waste of its time... So we got together and wasted it all tonight... i love you evermore.. you thriving vein betwee my ribs... I am loving you each day and now i want you all the more... u stop making me feel red... u make me light another cigarette that tells i am not dead... Ha haha haha

She's streamlined and a midnight flyer... Two bit liars, small time jokers, this train don't carry no smokers... Ha haha haha.. i am standing on the rooftop of your basement.. get higher hand me that ashtray.. those clips haunted bartender... loosen up dear mother pam... church is ringing its bell the church is falling in the well... come lock me in... Come with the dust and go with the wind...

Scene releases

In a very ruthless way... If you give me the wrong answer I will push you down the bridge.

Thank you,
thank you for this beautiful gift..
It was very generous of me...

I hope you liked it..
I need it.. Do I?
You will be prosecuted..

Saving lives around the world...
I feel safe with you.. You are leading the revolution..

Here put this on... They will kill you

Slither wall ticks

Fierce and forgiven

falls the shadow of the wall on me

I flick a match light to get rid of me

stubborn it seems

so i rather light the last cigarette i see.

Several walls i have been through

several went through me

dreams of concrete

sequels of bricks

painted over and over again

red, white

blue, pale yellow

hiding the plight of being so old

Higher than before

wider than ever

thicker than my veins

sharper than the knife

i cnt cut through them

so i let them cut through me

Infra red roses

ultra violent blue

disparity climbs from the floor to the wall

from one to another

on every wall

i am living through them all

It comes full circle

when the walls open in a window

the light travels through but not out

looks back at me

flickers and shrinks

to squeeze through the pane

vanishes outside

drenched in the rain

I reach for the window

and the raindrops sqaw

I smile my first smile

I flick a match light

I smoked many last cigarettes i saw...

Asulon

Remember how it all went wrong

I caught your lie

and u wrote a song

I said good bye

and u wrote a song

I cried too often

and u wrote a song

I drove down below

and u wrote a song

I puked rainbows

I stole the show

I never ever believed

and u wrote a song

Then broke the glass of green wine

and u wrote a song saying everything was fine

The road beneath my head went high

and u wrote a song of surprised sigh

The skin on smokers mime was shed

and u wrote a song on how u bled

The  desire was to be left in this bliss

and u wrote a song about the life u miss

I felt it in my fingers, I felt it in my toes

and u wrote a song about the sham king's woes

So I hum

I purred

I trilled

and I trolled

past the division bell's dong

And you know why I left it behind

Why I never sang all along

Well your song in the birth of tears

I fear was far too long...

Cut

Sinking.. sinking.. sinking

With every blink

I loose

a frame of this illussion

With every blink

I scan

through fluid images

With every blink

I freeze

and hope this life would too

With every blink

I sneeze

and someone says god bless you

With every blink

I depart

and wonder what did I start

Constantly questioning

time travel

ground and gravel

my feet have lost their sole

and left a sinking smiling hole

With every blink

I stop

I drop

the picture crops

and i m drained with a flush

a rush 

down to the bottom of my sink

I open my eyes

and well what do i dread

nothing to announce but

that addled delusion

down there in the sink

once again I blink...

Tourniquet

She’s made of hair and bone and little teeth
And things I cannot speak
She comes on like a crippled plaything
Spine is just a string.

I wrapped our love in all this foil
Silver tight like spider legs
I never wanted it to spoil
But flies will lay their eggs.

Take your hatred out on me
Make your victim my head
You never ever believed me
I am your tourniquet.

Prosthetic synthesis with buitterfly
Sealed up with virgin stitch
If it hurts
Please tell me
Preserve the innocence.

I never wanted it to end like this
But flies will lay their eggs.

Take your hatred out on me,
Make your victim my head
You never ever believed me
I am your tourniquet.

What I wanted
What I needed
I got from me.

What I wanted
What I needed
I got from me.

Take your hatred out on me,
Make your victim my head
You never ever believed me
I am your tourniquet.
Take out! Take out!
From me.
I am your Tourniquet.

Not even I believed in Me,
I am Your Tourniquet,.

Mourning

Its numb its broken

It tells me its fragile

Its fluid its flacid

but wants to stay for a while

Sweet jane

Hmmmmmmmm
A fence of broken wires
set to set me apart
from you from me
hmmmmmmmm
never seen so much restriction
of flowing wind and growing grass
growing down at the sea
hmmmmmmmm
this life was so close to not happening
the life lead to end one day
and reach the fence and bleed
hmmmmmmmm
rose petals in the river of blue
scars on the restless few
this was not suppose to be
hmmmmmmmm
Waiting to meet that one
across the fence sitting on his long walnut desk
with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him
I don't mind death
but Dying
hmmmmmmmm

Toe rugs

Bury the dead for fear that they walk to the grave in labour
In the groin of the natural doorway I crouched like a tailor
Sewing a shroud for a journey
By the light of the meat-eating sun.
Dressed to die, the sensual strut begun.
With my red veins full of money,
In the final direction of the elementary town
I advance as long as forever is.

Down the stairs of the highway You could look up and see
The world that seems so unknown
and yet you have lived there forever now
Doesn't make any sense somewhow..

Its the same
most things I claim to see everyday
very visual, very blinding
struck by the light of some metal rips in my pocket
I bend down and they bow
Doesn't make any sense somehow..

A beggar with a limp in the name of a life
walks upto anyone he can see
begs and tells me the reasons to do so
I ask him to let me be
I see similar inexplicable eyes
on a dog, a puppy, a child and a cow
Doesn't make any sense somehow...

He limps his way to an older man
on two wheels he gets of his
grabs his wallet picks a 5 rupee coin
I am moved by his charity
he reaches for the beggar's palm
picks up the change 4 rupees its wat I see
I look at the man , He looks at the man
who picks up the change and gives a 5 rupee
I wonder who the beggar could be
the light goes green and I go Wow
this time it did make sense somehow...

Not Mine

Well I think I see another side... Maybe just another light that shines....And I look over now through the door..And I still belong to no one else....Maybe I hold you to blame for all the reasons that you left....And close my eyes till I see your surprise........And youre leaving before my time.

wont you change your mind? Surely dont stay long Im missing you now. Its like I told you Im over you somehow Before I close the doorI need to hear you say goodbye. wont you change your mind?

I guess that hasnt changed someone...Maybe nobody else could understand...I guess that you believe you are a woman....And that I am someone elses man...But just before I see that you leave....I want you to hold on to things that you said.. I know I wish I were dead.

Surely dont stay long Im missing you now. Its like I told you Im over you somehow Before I close the door I need to hear you say goodbye wont you change your mind?

A life that was once alive

Something struck a wrong chord in my head last night... For a child.. who was!!
Death..
she continues...
to drink life
wall flowers growing on the grave
camels without water on the run
perception of a broken heart...
moon steals light from the sun

Children getting kicks
watching black snake slough its skin
running behind the shadow dancing
away from his own kin

Burning tears reaching out a silent scream
a muted shout
through the walls of dead silence
a man with his broken dreams
carries his young one
a blessing gone bad
a burden sans life
a shattered mirror
a child who was once alive....

Peep-le

And it's not just breaking out anymore
It's just breaking
I met nudity and promiscuity the other day
and they couldn't say much
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show..

With bodies dressed like that
calling attention from all
watching not watching
denying the ability to not see
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show..

I never thought they were two different people
and they weren't
they were the thing we fear
they were what we could never be
in all sophisticated cups and saucers
sucking on smoke pipes from a mile away
they could not touch those 'classy' lips
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show..

They laughed and drank the evening in
their painted nails filled with muddy streets
they don't look around
and they still can see me
petite, ironed, dyed
the last thing they wanted to be
or so I thought
they are just too much of a show
of state of insecurity,
of fear,
and of promiscuous misery

Lost

Stoney friends left behind
Congregating, waiting
The burning drape making way
for a velvet night, hesitating

Watery children dodging light
A sorrowful shimmer at the end of sight
Bodies caught in a heist
ravens flopping on the heads
Crying to a feast

Faded green amidst dying shells
They listen to voices, I hear bells
Mother sings them rhymes
I listen to her muted chimes

Stones, awake through the night
Virgin morning in her golden flight
Two numbed feet by the bay
Lost children will find their way..

I dint know what to say

Hands tied
Souls intertwined
Differences arise from similarity
And we look for serendipity

Incomplete business
Complete complacency
Partial gratification
Semi partial immortality
And we all deserve happiness

Immaculate dreams
Tainted love
Invincible fears
Justified malice
And we are all humans

Bored of the self
Scared of the beloved
Dreams of death and
Breaths beyond ephemeral life

And we all succumb
to similarity
to immortality.....